I’m not sure if I’ve ever had the flu. My mom, who is a physician, has always been so diligent about getting us a flu shot. And, as an adult, reminded me how important it is to still get it as a teacher.
But this year, when in between doctors, of course I forgot. So, my mom naturally reminded me when I went to visit for her birthday in early February. “Okay,” I said, “I’ll get one as soon as I get back.”
Well, it was already too late.
After a full workday on Monday, I was beat. I went home and slept for at least 12 hours. And when I woke up, I knew it was bad. One sick day after another passed and by Wednesday, it was confirmed that I had the flu.
It’s weird when you’re this sick. You’re both really out of it, but also notice the smallest of details. At least, that was me. I would look around my living room and think, “Has that always been there?” Or notice the tiniest things. But then at the same time, I’d forget a dear friend’s name when telling a story.
Yeah, the flu fucks you up.
(Sorry for the profanity, Mom)
If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve seen that I’ve been in a bit of a funk recently. Not sure what it is…could be the colder weather, could be the disappointing news I got recently, could be a lot of things.
Nothing like an intense virus to snap you back to reality.
Being so sick forced me to be in the present. All I could focus on was getting better. I rested, drank lots of water, read my book, and binged some Law and Order. I didn’t have the energy to do much else.
And being in this strangely mindful mindset somehow brought me out of my funk. I’ve been so worried about the future: making summer plans, trying to figure out my next career move, planning big house projects. I wasn’t focused on the here and now. I was accidentally making myself sad and stuck in a rut.
But man, when you just focus on getting your body back to it’s normal, healthy self, you start to realize how silly it is to focus on all these things in the future. What do those matter now if I can’t get healthy again?
I’ve gotten away from meditating the past month or so (other than some quick meditations during yoga) and I think that plays a huge part as well. I kept telling myself I needed to do it, but for some reason there was always something more pressing, more important to get done.
Finally, I’m back. I’m starting the habit up again first thing on Monday. I’m going to get out of bed right when my alarm clock goes off and start my day with that. Start things out on the right foot.
And realize that everything is going to work itself out.
But worrying about it, wasn’t helping anyone.
If you struggle with anxiety at all, I hope this helped you a little bit and made you realize the importance of here and now. It’s so funny, I often write these types of blogposts when I have little realizations like this. But I need to be better about referring back to them when I’m stuck. Hearing in my own words how to get out of it and feel better.
Have a lovely rest of your Sunday,